Strange to relate to another guy’s libido – I feel i’m not sharing very well but even so I’m not getting enough! And that’s fucking me up a lot, so it seems unsurprising he’s so fucked up right now, even though it ‘s always been intimated it’s a lower priority to him. To me it’s a little humiliating, two guys dying for more attention, hoping the female will reciprocate – more often. Though it probably seems fitting to him – how he reveres Women and continually does not respect himself. Once I start writing I stop feeling the flow.
Satan’s darkness
promises destruction

I brought up the pig(p i y?) again last night – the exact day after contemplating him for exactly the same reason. A little scared, not completely trusting D in a rather fantastical way. Of voicing demon’s names in the presence of a cypher. (He would have to go to so much effort for little gain though to be a cypher)
E you are gentle with him so much but limited gentleness with me. I become very vulnerable and the best you can say is ‘oh you just want an excuse not to feel vulnerable again.’ You’ve taken nothing on board, not understood anything. You’ve thrown things at me and I’ve not attacked you