just watched gots again, thinkin of its influence on the matric. made me realise, what i do – ponder ideas rather than character -isn’t as bad as i thought. We need to come up with one applicable idea.

I been thinking about baldur. the structure usually is ‘i need someone to solve a problem for me, I do find someone who can but they want something in return, complicating things.’ And at that stage, and even at the finding helpful person stage, we can throw in obstacles. it doesn’t just expand the plot but the environment and chances for characterisation too. I’ll help you get to the fire of mordor but you have to go through cirith ungol first. And simply put up with gollum! Aragorn i’ll help you in the last battle but you have to free me from undeath – will he do that, or sneakily betray them? All reveals character.

Might seem cheesy but you could compliment him? Say you love his words or style and it’d be nice to get a reminder. You know what I mean?

Has to be a gnome cos they’re sorta jewlike, fairylike, but also quite ambiguous what they actually are, not heroic, not something a nerd would project his insecure idea onto, they’re just kind of irritating, pointless, contaminating with rubbishness to people just existing and I like that.


reading a book on creative writing and I do seem to be doing what it suggests. just not enough, but i know why. so hooray

The voodoo gigolo screamed, and throttled the paedo jew. Paedo jew grabbed a hardback of ‘my first shabbat’ and cunted vooodoo in the lips with it. The winery manager sighed and rearranged the magnolias

You know what, reading nietzche made me want weird bold new characters in my d+d story

Have you ever thought about imagingin your own Creation, and the birth of the gods and their story? Like Silmarillion or your dream about a world dying, becomign stars and forming a roaming being who creates another world anew. as the dist settles on a fresh universe, with newly born divine creatures, how do thigns play out? How do these unhuman beings go about existence and relate to each other. gets you thinking big picture, you could do away with anything in the real world that seems limiting, have your green world, whatever. I spose personally I’d draw upon what i started to learn of the womblike void, the hermaphrodite original creator etc, the mystery of Something following Nothing

Well shamans play around with gender yeah. they soemtimes change over entirely, they go on journeys outside their self, they merge with their anima and gain powers from the other side

Wintermuse – Well prehistoric cultures wouldn’t have capitalism selling them profitable ideas, wouldn’t have tv/media, be focussed on survival and instinct more than abstractions, and have small self contained cultures – i’d have thought that gender would evidently be more fluid. I imagine a quivering flower blooming when a fat brick is removed, his genitals become something that can morph and change at will and don’t define him. Maybe he went on a shamanic trip where he sees the vision of himself emerge as a barely physical flower from under a brick – he can speak to a gender bending shaman – maybe he’d fallen unconscious! Then returns to the world transformed!

So our scientist with his experiment threw his soul backwards into communion with a primitive shaman. Starting in a … setting in the modern world. Maybe away from civilisation at first.

We could have a genital crushing scene, definetely. MAybe as a sacrifice to the dark Goddess. Or instead of blacking out he goes down on someone, or blacks out when sandwiched in a conga line of sodomy


Thrudd Zarg. Baltan Mooker

Fantasy version of star wars. Cosomopolitan gormenghast.

Cuntface is a weatherbeaten old footdragger, drab clothes, good for travel, various signs of eccentricity poking out though. Bayla Swan, a young woman with short hair and even more drab, uneventful robe-type shift running down her slimness

Boss John Curisity

Comparing star to a sweet meat. Very obviously, expressing the urge to bite, tear, consume.

Star would say he got very excited over a cake but I doubt he’d allow this possibility.

‘I’ve become nauseated now.’

Much later, after strongly implying that rape is a threat, she seduces him. A battle of wills, even during the sex. She succeeds in mashing his brains

Auggo Crow-catcher. Young, handsome, practical. A nice guy, unjudgemental, even unblinking at things that seem bizarre to others, he simply gets on with things as he knows they should be. Some principle of solidarity or work for work’s sake. (Gandalf the grey sweating, hair ragged, concentrating on the task)

The deep gnomes lived underneath/around the telukbetang human community for centuries. at first viewed as faeries, daemons, at least a part of the culture, they came to be seen more and more negatively and seperate.
Called unconcerned, not in an aloof way, but a shrinking, scared, calculating way.
Somewhat mixed up with the immigrants, with the Bosnian back-and-forth?
Ironically Nev has many of these worse traits; as if he is somewhat justified to suffer the malice.
A thief/general named Boss Ynawg Curiosity invades, persecutes the natives and the deep gnomes, but his behaviour is reflected in the natives reaction in turn. Deep-warrens blocked and burnt out, charred children’s corpses.
In a war we can see things play out. The politics, the conversations in corridors between great halls. Bosnia’s mix-up, abject enemies in their former opponent-jews’ houses, then back around again.

The light… said Star. Too bright. Gotta put it out.

Meein tookthe dog outside. The sky was crisp with stars from the beginning f the universe. He could see the constellation Hydra amongst them..

He unbuttoned his fly. He always had trousers which were too tight, and fet significant relief when he undid them. His dog crapped on the ground, then ran back and forth, wagging its tail.


She walked past as he pondered this new elusive truth. Looking away. Ignoring him – she can’t have not seen him.

He closed the book and rose, a fat of irrationality taking over. She was already turning her head slightly, knew he was approaching.

Hello, how are you? he asked.

Fine thanks.

Why, why did you say that to me. Please explain. Let me understand, at least. I want to know! What have I done? Why would you make me feel that way and then leave it like that, why would you bother?

Don’t you think it’s difficult to speak about? You made me eel uncomfortable, Mein.

You fucking women… You want us to hurt you… I don’t want to hurt you! None of you treat me like a human being!

They walked up the hill, over its ridge. There were some trees on the left, and a kind of dusty path bent up another slope nearby, ascending gently up. The sun went behind a cloud perhaps as we came to this place, because the lighting seemed to darken, almost to mauve. Jeff gasped. the others looked at him.

This place, it’s like a recurring dream. I’ve seen it many times

This is very, very strange.

I don’t like it here. 


reverse therapist

lover, that knows you, you thought you knew

Fear is in the mind

Batman would hesitate in working out decisions

Paranoid, unsure, afraid of being left alone, scared to get close. Questioning himself, harshly. realistically.

Young, school age killer. Crane advises him on fear of exposure

Sees himself in the boy. Apt Pupil.

Sunny busy fear

The crows are also always there, everywhere

In our sleepy times they really gather

Squabbling goblins, checkering the sky

Prophesying death

Cackling, they take their black life-blood out of our grasp